Tuesday, December 1

Oh, no! I’m homeward bound two weeks from today. How does everything go so fast? My schedule this week is crazy because the school semester is over and my students are involved in launching the summer school program so everything is out of whack. No school yesterday, just this goodbye party for Donald. Donald was our helper in one of our schools when I was on the English team my first visit here 7 years ago. And he was one of my students. Since then, he’s become the volunteer coordinator, and a great help to me. Plus he’s the main reason the office is fun. I was 99% sure he was gay. He, however, didn’t buy into my assumption and has fallen in love with Carlotta, a cute volunteer from Barcelona. Nicaragua’s loss is Spain’s gain because Donald and Carlotta are moving to Spain. This was his goodbye party. Lots of pizza and lots of tears. I even made a speech in Spanish about how much he meant to me. I hate shopping on the Internet. I was trying to take advantage of the Black Everyday sales so I sat down at my computer at 3 p.m. and didn’t get up until 9 p.m. (time out for really good salmon w/ pesto on top). I like to see things and touch things that I’m considering. And there’s always some glitch. My credit card doesn’t go through or something doesn’t connect or I forget to get a promo code before I get to checkout. Shopping tip on comparative shopping: Download either shopgenius.com or invisiblehand.com. They can hang out in the background while you shop. A popup notice will let you know if that Lego toy is available elsewhere for a better deal. And I haven’t tried them, but apparently slice or paribus will get you $ back if you find a better deal and you’ve already purchased. They take a cut but they deserve it. Scarier than Donald Trump are the people who are supporting Donald Trump. Who ARE they? We need to deport them all and replace them with Syrian refugees. I’m feeling good today because I had a good swim this morning, found a breakfast cereal that I like, Daniel called to say he loves me and that he’ll cook me tacos and rice tonight, my water guy made a delivery, as did my cashew guy, I signed up for a soap-making class on Thursday after my English classes, and part of my Xmas shopping is done. A good beginning to a good day. I wish you the same!

Monday, November 30

An example of the Nica toilet humor. Why?Partial audience the taping of “Granada’s Got Talent” at the Palacio del Arte. Juan Carlos, my estudiante, is one of the remaining contestants. He’s survived two eliminations. I didn’t stay to the end on Saturday so I’m not certain of that days’ results. They started an hour late because someone forgot to deliver the chairs for the audience so they had to contract another chair company while everyone waited. But, of course, as you know by now, this is Nicaragua. My showing up at 2 p.m. precisely was simply stupidity on my part. The talent was pretty sad, i.e. this guy in vaquero attire.The next guy was painful . After each performance, a la “Dancing with the Stars,” the judges seated here offered their opinions and a number grade. I was sitting on top of the speaker and cound barely understand their ctiques but I’ll ask Juan Carlos later today. Here is Juan Carlos. I think he could have given a bit more attention to his wardrobe. From my understanding, he received more 3s than 5s which was not a good thing. I hope he wasn’t eliminated.This next group danced a la Michael Jackson. Michael is turning in his grave. I found out my student and Thanksgiving lunch date Karina likes to read. READ! She’s the only person in Nicaragua. I’m bringing her a book today. My Spanish teacher filled me in on some of the Navidad details as we just entered Purisima. I can’t remember what that is but has something to do with the Virgen and Immaculate Conception. The residents of each street decorates like mad. The major domo has been selected by the church for his/her devotion during the year. The procession, along with a band accompanying the virgen, winds its way down one street per evening. They go house to house and, if you’ve got $, you can request a prayer or a song. I remarked to Maria Lydia on the amount of young people I see in the processions. She replied that they rarely show up in church, they’re in the processions because it’s an excuse to get out of the house. There are celebrations in the park every night with fireworks. I can see them clearly from my house. I don’t even have to get up from my desk chair. The fireworks this year were particularly good. On Christmas, instead of Santa Claus, the kids write letters to El Niño Dios. They put the letters in the Christmas trees which every house seems to have.

Saturday, November 28

Usually the 6th graders get a trip to the zoo or some other like excursion at the end of the school year. This year, because dthe government said there was “seismic activity (????),” instead of fun excursions, the sixth graders got to sit in the sun while the volunteers gave them juicy tidbits about their native countries, such as “there are a lot of mountains in Austria” and “We enjoy skiing.” Then they received prizes (some of them got watches (1 size fits all…girl or boy) or a very large box of chocolates that had been melting in the heat. Then we served them lunch (rice and beans, which everyone seems excited to eat, even though that’s what they have for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But this is a very poor school in a very poor neighborhood out in the boonies, so perhaps it is exciting to see rice and beans. The large group is a bunch of teens who came all the way from Australia to build a classroom for the school. they toil in the torrid temperatures cementing blocks.This girl has a least 6 braids in there. I can barely get one braid of my hair. After Little Miss Salsa Shimmy danced, Pauline remarked to me, “No wonder they’re pregnant by the time they hit high school.”Thanksgiving with Karina. Margarita’s spread included pretty much all of the traditional Thanksgiving dishes, except they copped out on dessert. The buffet only included cookies and cupcakes. Not a pie to be seen. In addition to a big turkey, there was ham, although I don’t recall pilgrims and indians pigging out on ham. The unfortunate woman behind the turkey needed the carving expertise of Kathy. No one can slice up a gobbler like my sister. The woman had a long line and a dull knife. Karina, who lives on rice and beans, was a good sport about trying everything except she drew the line at stuffing. It tasted really good but didn’t look particularly appetizing. We chatted for 2 hours in Spanish. She’s 18, her father split when she was little (as most here do…except for Daniel) and, when I asked how many people live in her house, she had to count up to 13 assorted relatives. Her task is to cook dinner for 8 of them every other night. She attends university in Managua on Saturdays and is the first in all of her family to go to college. She wants to make a career of fixing computers and cellphones. Chrissian, my housekeeper, asked when she could bring her 2-month baby to meet me. I thought saying, “never” would be rude. Her 12-year old daughter came with her. Fatima immediately immersed herself in her phone which is what I wanted to do, rather than coo. I find babies singularly uninteresting. I did pry interesting information from Chrissian about Casa Pilas. Apparently, the owners decided to wait until I go home rather than making me vacate for the 10 days of Thanksgiving. They’re coming for Xmas instead. I’m hoping maybe she’ll make some additional improvements before I return in March. At some point she must notice how annoying it is not to have a door on the master bathroom. Daniel and I use the honor system. How about toilet roll holders? Light in the kitchen would be too much to ask.

November 26, Thursday - Happy Thanksgiving

To

Enrique trying to leap onto the cross of noodles in the pool. I’m looking on outside of splash proximity.Last time I was here the vendors were all selling paintings of people sitting on toilets. For some reason, someone thought that amusing. The toilet masterpieces are gone and now all the kiosks are selling shredded T-shirts. They should go back to people in the loo. Above photo of the vendors along Parque Central trying to clean up after a particularly heavy downpour. And the girl who cooks “revueltas” in the street on my path home. Masa dough filled w/ cheese. Wrapped in a banana leaf. So hot I have to wait to eat it. But worth the wait. The ladies with their snack carts park themselves outside the schools. They know their way around post-lesson hungry children. The once-movie theatre has been transformed (well, a small part of it) into a dry cleaners and a 7/11 type mini-market, and now the narrow once-lobby is a Taco Stop. I’d been pressing Daniel to go. Regretful decision. Dreadful food. My hard taco tasted like it’d been sitting on the counter for a month. Daniel’s burrito was no better. And to top if off, my Chase credit card for a grand total of $8.24 was declined by the credit card company. Every time I leave town, I enter a Travel Notification with my credit card companies. I’ve been in Nicaragua for almost 7 years and they decline an $8 charge. I called and yelled. It must be horrible to work in Customer Service. I only had one class yesterday due to summer school beginning for the little children. My students were all occupied except Javiera. During that ONE class of the day, the city electricity went out. No fans. I was wearing skimpy clothes and was sitting near the door because the office is still jammed w/ cardboard cartons. I grabbed the battery-operated fan birthday-gifted to me by Pam for some relief. I offered Javiera a frisbee-shaped plastic fan but she demurred saying, “No tengo calor.” She was dry as a piece of paper while sweat literally poured off my face. My eyes had already been itching and my nose dripping because I’m allergic to something in the office. Must be the dust from the cartons. And Javier wasn’t hot! Then I walked through the teeming marketplace to get some groceries. I finally got home and walked directly through the pool on the way to a nap in the cool bedroom. I’m done cooking. I can’t bear the market. Off to my Nica Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 24

See that dripping wet head? I fell in the pool. Hanne, Rodrigo and their baby Thiago came swimming. I was busy talking and missed a step and ended up underwater. I haven’t been under water since I was 12. I couldn’t exactly leave my guests and blow dry my hair (for the 2nd time that day) so I pretended I’d intended to be an outdoor girl. Not my finest moment. Rodrigo my attorney is reading my rental contract. He says they can kick me out with 30 days notice. I haven’t a leg to stand on. Nor a step, obviously. I’m going to cross my fingers and hope they’ve priced Casa Pilar out of the Nica market. The other photos: the homeless. they don’t even look for a doorway or any type of shelter. They just drop where they stop, and that’s where they sleep. The pedestrians simply step over them. Except for the blue tarp. It’s vacant today but usually there are two sets of feet sticking out of it. I think they stow their belongings underneath. And no one bothers anyone. OK, I’m a bad mom. I gave my turtle up for adoption. The doors to my house are always open except for the iron gates. Two days ago a man came to the house, turtle in hand, asking if it was mine. It had slipped under the gate and was toodling down the walkway to the stairs below. He brought it inside and put it in my garden. This morning a woman came to the door and pointed out the turtle casually making his way to the same spot. She brought him home. And then 10 minutes later another lady had him in hand, asking to whom he belonged. I questioned if she wanted a tortuga, she said sure, and the deal was done. If Yertl wanted to run away from home, who am I to say no. The woman seemed very happy to have a turtle. I hope he wasn’t a prized member of the owner’s family here. All my students are sick and sneezing on me. My teaching books have exercises about people “jogging.” Talk about foreign concepts! No one jogs in Nicaragua. I have to keep explaining, “correr rapidamente.” My mini-mercado around the corner se fue. It’s disappeared. The guys in the TV repair place next door told me they thought it moved to Ometepe, in the isletas. I’m devastated. I hate going to the supermarket because it’s so hard to get a fucking taxi and I was making the mercado my go-to fruit and vegetable stop. Now what? I haven’t a vegetable in the house. I bought some bananas and an apple on the street yesterday but I don’t think they’re vegetable replacements. I guess I’ll have to have the caesar salad every day at the Garden Cafe to get my leafy fix. No more BLTs.

Sunday, November 22

Isn’t that the prettiest little butterfly? It died. I came back from a 45-minute lunch and the office was stacked almost to the ceiling with cardboard cartons. My desk was behind all of that. I then had 3 more classes to teach. That grey lady with Daniel is my competition. He looks happy with her. I don’t have very many American friends here. Well, I don’t have very many friends of any stripe here. But, certainly no one with whom to share Thanksgiving. It being a Thursday, it’s a work day for me. And Daniel’s in Nandaime and never gets back to Granada before 7:30 p.m. My lunch hour is at noon and then my afternoon classes begin at 1 p.m. So I decided to share my Thanksgiving w/ Karine, my 1 p.m. student. We’ll go to Margarita’s at noon (a restaurant/bar not know for its food, but within fast walking distance). It’s on La Calzada, the main restaurant drag. They posted their holiday menu on the door and perhaps they can’t fuck it up. Karina makes me laugh and we’ll have a combination feast/lesson. Thousands of Cubans have made their way to Costa Rica, ostensibly on their way to the US, but they’re currently camping on the border of Costa Rica and Managua because Managua won’t let them through without papers. They’re trying to cross to Honduras. At the moment they’re at a stalemate, most of the people think Nicaragua’s being spiteful because the Nicas and the Ticos just don’t get along. When Somoza was in power, he gave away a chunk of and to Costa Rica in some kind of deal. Each country thinks Rio San Juan belongs to it, so there are boundary spats. The unfortunate Cubans are stuck in camp squalor. What a world we live in! The manager of the hotel next to me called to talk about their plan to construct some sort of fence or planting separating the condo property from mine. He says they need to use part of my walkway. I think they should have thought about that before constructing their monstrosity within an itch of my kitchen window. About using part of their own property rather than annexing mine. I told them to design something and I’ll look at it when I get home. I put a deposit down on Casa Pilar beginning March 16 for 3 months. I asked the management company what happens if the owner sells the house before June. She said they’ll refund my money and help me find somewhere else to live. I don’t want to live somewhere else. I had hoped this was settled. I knew this was too easy. I’m waiting now for my friend Hanne, baby Thiago and her lawyer husband Rodrigo to come swimming. I’ll ask him what my rights are. I never have any rights.

Monday, November 16

These trees are the brainchild of the wife of the president, Daniel Ortega. They’re certainly garish and not much less garish during the daytime when they’re not lit. But I think they’re fun and colorful. These photos were taken through the windshield, which doesn’t do them justice. We had a wonderful wonderful weekend, one of the best of my life. Daniel is always in a good mood when he gets to drive a car. We checked into the InterContinental after some haggling online about the rate, which had gone up from $99/night to $176. I got them down to $119 which included the $40 incredible breakfast. My favorite buffet. I did leave there 10 pounds of bacon heavier. We went to the movies to see the 007 film. I bring a hoodie to Nicaragua only for the chilly plane rides but I took it into the movie theatre an it was so cold, Daniel and I were huddled beneath it. Didn’t James Bond have a sense of humor in the early days? Daniel Craig can jump off roofs but he’s so boring. There must be a better Bond out there. I had no idea what the story was about or if indeed there was a story that made sense but give me popcorn and I don’t care what the movie is. And then we went to lunch across the street at McDonalds. I never eat meat here but McDonalds is the same wherever you go. I can rely on my double cheeseburgers and my fries. A taste of home.I’d read about the ribs at Jimmy “three fingers” and we never try to go because it’s in a sketchy neighborhood and we usually don’t have a car. The host greeted us at the door with the news that Jimmy was in New York so there were no ribs. I guess his ribs are a bigger secret than Mrs. Fields chocolate chip cookies’ recipe. No Jimmy, no ribs. We settled on easier-to-obtain recipes like quesadillas. The rum and cokes were rum and pepsi. Let me tell you…not remotely the same. Then we smoked a joint and lounged around the hotel pool in the balmy night air with our piña coladas. We tried to include the palm trees and the candles and lighting and pool in the photos but it was too dark, but it’s stunning at night. The beds and pillows and duvet of the Intercontinental are heavenly dreams. In the morning after my bacon pig-out, we had more piña coladas on the cabana pool lounge, swam, went to the gym to pretend work off some of the calories, and checked out. Perfect 2 days. And my hair was straight for the first time in 2 months. I’d washed it right before leaving Granada, was in an air-conditioned car, air-conditioned mall, air-conditioned movie, etc. I didn’t even dread looking in the mirror. Next time I’m going back to a Brazilian Blowout. My natural curls are no match for Granada’s humidity. On CNN yesterday, where they show on-screen temperatures from around the world, Nicaragua was the hottest.